I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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