Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Randomize
