It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
