Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Randomize
