Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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