Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
