So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
3pm strippers are depressing
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
