I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
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