Need sex. Gaining weight.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
