I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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