i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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