Buhtt sex?
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Randomize
