I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
