ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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