i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
