Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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