After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
