If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
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