Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
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