is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
