Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
