I hate your face
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Success! We fucked roommates!
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