Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
