she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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