you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
