hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Randomize
