I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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