the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
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