We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
drinking out of a sandbucket again
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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