The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
