$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
