I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
