We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
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