1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
