did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
someone owes me an orgasm
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
