the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
