I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
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