If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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