I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
