called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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