What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
