the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
