I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
