are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
