so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
