Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
