so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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