don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
