My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
