No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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