UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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