So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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